Where have you been for the last three years? Dead? In a ditch? Dead in the ditch that is the Marianas Trench?
I've been going to grad school! I now have an MLIS so I can be a Real Librarian. But at the moment I'm still looking for a library job haha. Paaaaandemic job markets, everybody! Also in that time I got married and for now I'm back in Utah. The married thing I plan to keep, but who knows how long Utah will last.
Are you a yeti?
Then why the name?
Okay, you've got me. All of my perfumes are actually formulated according to the recipes developed by the elusive, but strangely perfume obsessed, mountain yeti of the West coast. It was tough, as they spoke an odd Mountain French Patois, but by utilizing their ancient secrets, and paying them with large quantities of gummy bears, I've been able to get these roaming Yeti to settle down in order to develop a line of perfumes for people who want something a little more unique.
So why perfume oils?
Unlike traditional perfumes which are dissolved into an alcohol base, Smelly Yeti perfume oils are suspended in skin-loving Rice Bran and Jojoba oils, eliminating that cloying "perfume" smell upon application and allowing the true scents to shine through.
So why perfume oils?
Are you serious? I just told you that a moment ago.
Well, how do you even use them?
A few drops applied to pulse points (such as the wrist, inner elbow, behind the ear, neck) will warm and activate the perfume. As Coco Chanel famously said, you should put your perfume "wherever you want to be kissed." Except, now that I think of it, the lips are an AWFUL place to put perfume oils. And Chanel was like, a nazi sympathizer. Hmm. Maybe not the best person to go to for advice.
Using the glass wand included with our full size bottles, it's easy to control application. You can use a little, or you can just slather it on like a perfume crazed maniac.
My perfume oil has weird blobs in it!
Some perfumes have natural resins in them, which can settle to the bottom of your bottle and look like dark blobs. This is normal, and not a sign of mold or any kind of "expiration date" - simply shake your perfume (while closed of course) and the ingredients will mix together again so you can continue smelling lovely!
What if I have allergies???
Email email@example.com with what you're allergic to! Most perfumes contain essential oils and/or other planty compounds, though none of them SHOULD be particularly dangerous to the average allergy sufferer. Though Smelly Yeti perfumes don't use coconut oil as the carrier oil, some perfumes may have coconut pulp extract in them; such a thing would be listed in the description, but if you're unsure then, again, email!
Do you ship internationally?
Do you combine orders? I made like five yesterday and I want them to all ship together.
Unfortunately, there's no way to combine orders at this time.
Do you sell individual samples?
I DO NOW. However! Scent is such a personal thing that choosing multiple samples vastly increases your chances of success finding The One.
Are your products vegan?
Yup! Any honey scents used are artificial, and all waxes and jelling agents are plant derived.
Are your products all natural?
Though the majority of our perfumes do include natural botanicals and/or essential oils, it's important to remember that there's nothing inherently wrong or unsafe about synthetic fragrance oils or aroma molecules. In some cases, the artificial version has a more true-to-life, longer lasting scent and has less of the dangers associated with the equivalent essential oil.
Plus, it's not really possible to make a natural perfume that smells like, say...a robot. I mean, I could TRY to make a natural "essence of motor oil" but that's probably not something you'd want to put on your skin. And it would still be made of motor oil, so not really natural anyway.
Now, with that aside, there are some chemicals that I don't use in my products. Things like cyanide, or arsenic. But seriously, I only use ingredients that I feel are safe, in safe concentrations, and that includes "animal testing" where the animal that I test on is myself.
What's your stance on parabens? Or sulfates?
Parabens are effective preservatives that have been used for a very long time. Until numerous studies with perfect methodology come out linking it directly to cancer, I will not condemn them.
Sulfates (like Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, found in most shampoo) are a cleansing agent; some people avoid them because prolonged exposure to the face can cause irritation to sensitive skin. People also avoid them in toothpaste because if you have mouth ulcers, it's not a great combo. Smelly Yeti doesn't make toothpaste, so this is irrelevant. However, many people do not have a reaction to them, and as long as you're not vigorously rubbing them onto your face, you shouldn't have a problem.
What's your stance on Fritos?
Chili Cheese Fritos for LIFE. Yeah, they're not vegan. But I'm not vegan, so it's not really a problem.
Not The Bees smelled so good, I poured it in my tea! But it tasted kind of...
WHAT? NO. CALL POISON CONTROL AND GO TO THE HOSPITAL. Perfumes aren't food. Only the free candy is food, and even then, exercise COMMON SENSE.
Should I pour perfume on my baby?
No. If your baby is foul, bathe it. With unscented baby soap. Same goes for pets.
I'm pregnant. Is using perfume safe?
Now this is a slightly tough one. Some women feel that some scents help alleviate feelings of nausea, or at least make them feel better, while pregnant. Others may find that, in addition to weird cravings, beloved scents have become unbearable. But in general, it's agreed that some essential oils are not safe to use on the skin during pregnancy. However, these decisions are very personal and so my recommendation is this: if you're pregnant, investigate which oils you'd rather not use. Email and see which perfumes are ruled out because of this. If you have a perfume that contains one of these forbidden oils, maybe use it to scent a room, instead of your skin. There's a lot of tutorials out there for making solid perfume lockets, which are another way to wear a scent without applying it directly to your skin! If you've used essential oils before realizing you're pregnant, the important thing is to not panic. Bring up your concerns with a doctor, but you're probably going to be fine.
How long will my perfume last?
Smelly Yeti perfumes are sold in amber glass bottles which filter out UV radiation that would make the compounds in them degrade; you can do your part to make your perfume last by storing it in a cool, dry place. Do you need to buy a mini fridge specifically for your collection? Or have a secondary home in a cave and/or cold war era bunker? *Probably* overkill. A bottle of perfume should be good for a few years, though they can certainly last much longer. Know that as it ages, the scent may change subtly over time; this is part of the adventure of perfume oils!
No, how many uses does it have?
A full size should last you...I don't know, man. A long friggin time. Some people apply only a drop a day, other people splash it on. It should last a goooooooood long time though.
I emailed you this weekend and I still haven't gotten a response! What gives?
I try to respond quickly to all emails, but at the moment I have a full time job in addition to Yeti-ing around. While I'm fairly computer addicted, any sort of circumstance could keep me from answering. Computer on fire, wifi down, plain ole forgetfulness...If you think your email was lost to the sands of time, email me again!
No yeti were harmed in the making of this perfume. Except maybe Jean-Claude; he tripped carrying a box one time.
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any questions, or if you just want to say hi. Be like, hi Abby! And I'll say hi or whatever.