The Illuminati Is Real And Yes I Am In It

$ 15.00

Wake up, sheeple.

Looking for a blend that subtly evokes respect, physical attraction, and a sensual sort of POWER OVER THE MASSES OF THIS WEAK AND FRAGILE EARTH, SHEEP IN NEeD OF SHEPheRdING would you like a cup of tea, Alfred? No thank you, makes me nervous. And scaly.

Blackcurrant scones dusted lightly with cinnamon and sugar, teacakes spread with raspberry jam...what, did you think it was going to be reptilian skin and sulfur? How déclassé! How gauche! Power smells like a well catered luncheon. THEY WANT YOU MALLEABLE THEY WANT YOU AMUSED DO NOT LAUGH WHEN THE ONLY LOGICAL RESPONSE IN THIS WORLD IS TO CRY IN TERROR JUST LOOOK AT THEPYRAMIDZZZWAKE UP AND TAKE HOLD OF DESTINY YOU WORTHLESSe

Feminine, leaning unisex.  More like leaning REPTILIAN

Vegan! or is it? trust no one Trust No One TRUST NO ONE NoT EEEVeN YouRSELFFFFFFFF THEY CAN CHANGE MEMORIES 1999 NEVER EVEN HAPPENED IT'S ALL JUST A COVERUP

Ingredients: Rice Bran Oil, Jojoba Oil, Fragrance Oil, Essential Oil, Blackcurrant absolute, human souls, alien energy, pyramids, love, nightmares 

Full sizes come in 7.4 ml bottles (with a glass wand applicator) featuring the label artwork pictured. Remember, you saw nothing. It's safer that way. 

Samples are in adorable 1.3 ml bottles. YET YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REDEEM THIS FOOLISH WORLD ALSO BACK WHEN I ORIGINALLY WROTE THIS DESCRIPTION THE WORLD WAS MUCH LESS INSANE SO LIKE, USE CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS WHEN YOU ENCOUNTER ANYONE WHO SAYS THAT THERE'S SECRET CABALS BECAUSE MOST OF THE TIME IT'S LIKE AN ANTISEMITIC THING AND LET ME TELL YOU THERE'S NOTHING MORE DISAPPOINTING THAN GROWING UP AND FINDING OUT THAT CONSPIRACY THEORISTS  JUST HATE MINORITIES AND IT WAS NEVER ABOUT LITERAL LIZARD PEOPLE.

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