Can't Go To Mexico

$ 15.00

Surprisingly, not an illegal alien joke. 

Incident report #49250 

An investigator for the [REDACTED] of [REDACTED] stated that three unidentified flying objects have been recovered in New Mexico. The saucers were [REDACTED] feet in diameter and, when opened, each contained [REDACTED]. It is suspected that the radar and other equipment in the [REDACTED] region interfered with the controlling mechanism of the saucers. Colonel [REDACTED] speculated that "maybe them Martians is just terrible drivers" but examination of the craft does not reveal a Martian origin, and the good Colonel was reminded of his three DUI's in the last year, and therefore his lack of high ground when criticizing driving of any sort. 

Mr. [REDACTED], while investigating these objects, send an improperly encoded communique which was intercepted by [REDACTED]. While we don't think that the memo was fully decrypted, it is assumed that the [REDACTED] government now knows of Mr. [REDACTED]'s findings, and we now suspect that whatever entities in the craft now know the secret formula for COCA COLA. The craft is being quarantined indefinitely.

Due to the actions of agent [REDACTED], no members of team [REDACTED], nor any of their bloodline, can cross the US Mexican border due to the obvious threats from [REDACTED] and [REDACTED]. Since I had a lovely vacation to Chichen Itza planned with the missus that I now have to cancel, losing my deposit, agent [REDACTED] has also been assigned janitorial duties for the next two months. 

Seriously, guys. You just had to let Mexico know we have aliens, didn't you? 

General [REDACTED]

Roswell, New Mexico




Breathing in the hot desert air, you take a sip of your drink. You love these desert nights. A tall Mexican coke with a couple of limes squeezed in, garnished with cactus blossom. You do this every friday, even though it means that you have to send the limes and flower through the decontamination chamber every time. Does the cactus flower really add all that much? Maybe not, but you feel fancy and you like feeling fancy. The desert air is suddenly agitated, blowing the cactus blossom into your eyes. as you pull it away and squint against the sand, you see a row of lights blinking in the distance. Aluminum panels and steam. Taking a step closer, you get out your phone and open up Snapchat.

"Enrique's gonna love this." 



Ingredients: Rice Bran oil, jojoba oil, fragrance oils, essential oil.  

Full sizes come in 7.4 ml bottles (with a glass wand applicator) featuring the label artwork pictured. 

Samples are in adorable 1.3 ml bottles. 



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